And the burning doesn't stop

‘Grieving is like being set afire. Except when you try to put out the flames they disappear; when you try to salve your wounds you find your skin unblemished. You take a breath, thinking the worst has passed, and then grief bursts into flame anew… you have no choice but to burn.’

                                                                                                  -Marshall Thornton

Tears poured from her eyes as she sobbed quietly in the corner of the coffee shop. She wished no one will look in her direction and then the barista came over to her. ‘Are you okay?’ she said. The response was so overwhelming and Cynthia had no control of the avalanche that ensued.

Six months before, she had felt...

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It is my anniversary!

Today is such a special day and I would like to share it with you. Its meaning has evolved over the years. I have always remembered it as my father's birthday but the meaning changed to the day I realised that I had married the wrong person, to the day my marriage ended and now the birth of a mission that helps many around the world.  

So I woke up this morning full of gratitude. I sang, danced and got ready to attend the thanksgiving mass that had been booked for me. 

So after reading from scripture, we had a period of reflection. As I sat in church with my face mask on (in view of the current situation with covid), the event of my day of anguish, pain and confusion played before my eyes. Guess what, my heart was full of joy, gratitude and praise for that event. For the very first time, I said, ' Though it was painful, I would not have it any other way.'

Is there a date that you remember for all the wrong reasons? Is there pain tied to particular time of the...

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Loss and grief

grief loss Jun 13, 2020

The loss of someone or something  we hold dear can be devastating. Sometimes, the effect is related to the level of emotional attachment we had to who or what we lost. At other times, it has no bearing to whether we know this person or thing  well enough. This might be the case of the people sometimes referred to as "crying more than the bereaved".

Either way, loss is usually followed by a period of grief. Elizabeth Kubler Ross kindly described the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression ,Acceptance. There has been a stretch to 7 stages and I have also seen 12 stages when searching on the stages of grief.

There was however an additional stage introduced by David Kessler, the academic partner of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, that intrigued me. That is, 'finding meaning'.

While people think about this additional stage in terms of finding closure, it is described as moving forward in such a way that honours who we lost. This is so that when they are remembered, it is...

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